Funny Facts!

I usually hate those forwarded e-mails that everybody sends with the little arrows all over the page from being forwarded 15 times before you get them. But this one was so funny I had to put it here.





Truths Black and Hispanic People Know - But Most White People Will Not Admit

1. Elvis is dead.

2. Jesus was not white.

3. Rap music is here to stay.

4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean. (But I still Do It)

5. Skinny does not equal sexy.

6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.

7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller.

8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.

9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.

10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal


Truths White and Black People Know But Most Hispanic People Will Not Admit

1. Hickeys are not attractive.

2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate.

3. Jesus is not a name for your son.

4. Your country flag is not a car decoration.

5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.

6. 10 people to a car is considered too many.

7. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.

8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.

9. Mami & Papi cant possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.

10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.



Truths White and Hispanic People Know But Most Black People Will Not Admit


1. O.J. Did it.

2. Tupac is dead.

3. Teeth shouldn't be decorated.

4. Weddings should start on time.

5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.

6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.

7. Green is not a Kool Aid flavor, its a color.

8. Church does not require expensive clothes.

9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.

10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car!

Life Balance (What is the Recipe)?

What makes a perfect weekend?

I have friends and family who run non-stop all the time. Gotta go a party on Friday, Mow the grass on Saturday, A social function Saturday evening, but 1st I gotta buy an outfit and shop for groceries. Sunday I'll clean house and then go do some more shopping. (Something Lke that)
You can fill in the activities with whatever fits.

If we only have one life, that we know of.....

Why spend it running with blinders on and never slowing down.

If we hate our jobs - get out of them as soon as possible.

If we are still tired on Sunday evening - We have done something wrong!

Does wealth really make us happy?

Can we have financial and spiritual wealth in perfect balance?

Do we spend quality time with those we love?

What is our definition of quality time?

It all seems confusing right? That is the problem! We have cluttered our lives with ideas and fears that have us running a marathon to happiness that never ends. It is time to get back to basics. Simplify things a little and really START LIVING. Quit over planning our free time with a day planner weeks in advance. So what if the grass is a little high, mow it tomorrow, or let the 12 year old boy down the street make $20.00 and YOU sit back and relax a little. Do you really have to be at all the places you have been going? Is there anything about your schedule that FEEDS YOUR SOUL? Or are we just being guided by strings, like a puppet controlled by a selfish, unsatisfied society's competitive idea of perfection?

I spent this weekend with my family. We played video games when we felt like it. Cooked in at home all weekend (and ate good). Took naps when I felt like it. Called my Mom, Pops, Grandma and Uncle throughout the weekend and smiled during each call at some point. I kissed my wife and kids this weekend. Even my dog got a lot of attention, and I told them all that I loved them!
Guess what, I wasn't tired on Sunday Night! I did fall asleep watching King of The Hill on Fox. But that was probably due to the fried rice I had just eaten. I always nap after a big meal. There is nothing like a Sunday Night, full stomach nap on the couch drifting in and out of a 60 Minutes Episode. It's a great way to wind down for a Monday.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't have a good work ethic. We should work hard, play hard and rest hard. But too much of one will knock us off balance. And if we are not happy in any of the categories we need to do something to change that.

It is O.K. to say no to invitations. We don't have to go everywhere and do everything we are invited or asked to. That is called "People Pleasing" and it will make you miserable in time.

There is a reason that all through my life, town to town across this beautiful country, I have always found and been drawn to The Andy Griffith Show. What a wonderful display of balance!

The Secret Of Life is the passage of time. Simple, spontaneous events, intertwined with labor and love.

I know a few people who do get it! I am still trying to perfect it. But when I sometimes get it right, It feels wonderful!!

Will Unleaded Make Me Happy?

As I begin my day, I look over and notice that I have two 10mg Lexapro left in my bottle. Being self employed and in between insurance coverage right now, I have to pay full price for it. I have been getting it from a family menber who has 2 prescriptions and fills one for me under their insurance. The 2 of them split a 20mg a day and I get the 10mg supply from the other one's monthly prescription. The doctor set it up that way so we could all be covered. Hopefully in a month or so, I will be on a new insurance plan and can get it in my name again. I try to stay on a plan, but when my wife changes jobs or we move, sometimes we find ourselves in a window of non-coverage.

I did find a 3 month supply available online from a Canadian mail order Pharmacy for $90.00. That is great, considering that a one moth supply here costs $100.00.

But isn't that illegal?

It makes me so mad!!! Big Oil can buy there crude from the middle east or anywhere. Phillip Morris and RJR can buy their tobacco from Brazil or Peru and slowly send generations of American tobacco farmers to homelessness. I can hardly find and furniture in the showrooms anymore that was made in the US. I call a software company for tech support and get a man from East India that can hardly speak English, flipping through the same manual I have to give me assistance. BUT, I can't buy my doctor prescibed medication from a Canadian supplier who wants to save me $933.00 a year.

I am not Michael Dell and don't play golf with the President in Texas. I'm just a guy who works for himself, after the FCC ruined the radio business in 1995. I guess I can never compete with the pharmaceutical lobbyists who pay money to have these laws passed.

It's a damn shame that private companies make the laws and profit from them. Our government leaders just sit around with their hands out waiting for money and instructions. "NEW LEGISLATION TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER"!!

It's time to reflect back to Thursday, December 16, 1773.

Let's replace the tea with pills and have a Boston Pill Party!!!

Back to the Normal World!

7 am Sunday morning and I am having my 1st cup of Columbian Fuel. That would be coffee, not cocaine! I slept through the night with one waking trip to the kitchen at 1 am for a bowl of cereal that put me right back to sleep. The wife and kids are still asleep and the dog just rolled back over and closed her eyes. All in all it was a successfully sleep cycle readjustment. I did begin my day at the end of a weird dream though.

I was in Tennessee somewhere (I think it was supposed to be) driving through a trailer park in the late night. There was another group of trailers across the street from the park that were supposed to be filled with troublemakers and non-desirables. For some reason I was looking for a specific address of one of those. ( I think I was there to help clean up the neighborhood or something like that) I went back to the park to a lady, who I think was supposed to be the park manager. Her front door was open and she was sleeping on the couch in the front living room with a fan blowing across the room from the center of the floor. I guess I knew her cause I started down hallways and looking into rooms. The mobile home was huge!! There was another living room down the hall but the rest of the place was empty of life. So I ran back up and woke her and asked her how to get to wherever it was I was trying to get to. She jumped up, wiped her eyes and we headed out the front door to my car. I told her it wasn't safe to be asleep with the front door wide open like that at night. She thanked me for my concern and next we were in my Envoy backing up. I glanced into the rear view and there was a parked car behind me that wasn't there before. I hit the brakes to avoid hitting it. I then turned my wheel to back out at an angle and all of a sudden a tingle came over my body and I started to feel weird. I kept backing up, but didn't look in the mirror as the dirt road behind me was all that I thought was there. As I cringed in hopes that nothing was behind me in the nighttime darkness and prepared to put it in drive to pull forward after the angled reverse, I felt the car start to back into a ditch. Uh Oh, It wasn't a ditch behind me it was a steep something. The car continues and starts a slow roll. I reach up and brace myself on the roof and tell the lady, "hold on we're having a bad accident!" The car continues to roll sideways, over and over. I am thinking, my wife is gonna be pissed that I have wrecked the car.

Then I wake up! I guess during all this unconscious commotion, I had slapped the dog. She was running to the bottom of the bed, looking at me like I was crazy. I had also stirred up Hilly but she didn't wake up enough to care.

It is funny how detailed our dreams are. How we seem to be in places that we know and interact with people that we know. Only to wake up and say, "What the F^&K!! It makes me wonder if we drift away into a parallel universe. Kind of like the Deja Vu that we all experience sometimes and can't figure out why a situation feels familiar.

OK !

It is too early on Sunday morning for and episode of Nova in my brain! :-)

I guess I'll go do some work. I have a few commercials to produce for a few clients. Then maybe the family will be up and moving and we can get into something today.

We are not the normal Sunday morning church family. Never have been. I have never felt close to my maker in a church. Spiritual, I am. But religion is scary to me.

However, if I could find THIS GUY preaching somewhere today I might go get a laugh or two.

Whew!!

I made it!! 8:25pm and I have been up over 24 hours. Now I can crawl to bed and sleep at night.
Enough blogging for me for a while. But it did help me to stay awake today. Good-Night-ALL!!

I'm Almost There!!!!

I am trying to stay awake all day today so that I can get back on a nightitme sleep cycle!! I amuse and entertain myself by playing in my studio. Anything to get me to 8 o'clock or after so I can finally sleep at night.

People do the most silly stuff when they are sleepy, as you'll hear by clicking below.

Real Roots and Quality Time

What a Wonderful and Important Experience!!!




My wife and 2 youngest daughters were recently out of the country attending my father-in-law's funeral in Holland. While they were away, I used this 2 week period as a good opportunity for some one on one time with my 87 year old Grandmother. We did a lot of cool things during that time. But the coolest was a weekend trip back to her childhood hometown and birthplace.


The house she was born in is still standing and in great condition. (Pictured Above)
Built in 1890, it is now occupied by my 70 something y/o second cousin. My Grandma was born in this same house in 1919. I have fond memories of swinging in an old tire swing in the side yard when I was just a single digit aged kiddy. The house then was filled with the aroma of snuff and cigar smoke from my aunt and uncle. It is the 1st place I ever ate a brown shelled country egg (or even saw one). What a trip down memory lane. I guess it has been over 20 years since I have been in the area.

We also made a stop by the cemetery where her Parents (My Great Grandparents) and her Grandparents (My Great Great Grandparents) were buried.



Her Parent's Headstone



Her Grandparent's Headstone




We then decided to see if one of her childhood homes were still standing. And to our delight it was standing and in fine shape. Looked to be very well kept. We drove down the long gravel driveway and I even got out and took a pic, but the sound of big dogs barking in the back yard convinced me snap the pic and jump back in the car and get out of there. We were in the country, where I am sure a few people have shotguns propped behind their doors. But I was actually hoping someone would come out so we could say hello and possibly see the inside. As we drove away she showed me the little creek that she and her sister used to play in and make little houses out of the creek bank clay.

Grandma's Childhood Home



Afterwar all that we stopped at an oldtime eatery called The Cooksville Grill. I recall them having the best sliced Bar B Que sandwiches in the world when I was a child. Grandma used to stop and buy them everytime she went to the country when I was a child. As I walked in the smell of the place immediately took me back. There was an elderly couple having a Saturday evening fish dinner at the table in the window. The ambiance was that of a Normal Rockwell masterpiece. I ordered the sandwiches and sat at the counter taking it all in as Grandma waited in the car. (It was like 96 degrees that day and she was loving the air conditioning in the GMC Envoy). Andy and Barney could have walked in and ordered the Aunt Bee special and it wouldn't have surprised me. It was a true trip back in time all the way down to the salt shakers and homemade cookies for sale by the register.


Cooksville Grill



The sandwiches were still as good as I remebered. I had to eat them right in the parking lot cause they were good and sloppy with slaw falling out of the bun. Mitsy, my 3 pound Teacup Yorkie got her 1st taste and woofed down about a third of a sandwich herself in the back seat. Which was good, because it got her belly full and she crawled on to her pillow bed and went to sleep for a while.

I was amazed at how well Grandma remembered her way around those back roads after 87 years. I could have never found those those places alone. We all 3 rested well that evening.


Grandma Holding Mitsy
After the Trip




What a great time!! Grandma, Mitsy and Me, On the Back Roads of History!!

Charles Kuralt would have been proud of us!!

I miss TV like he did it!!

Politics

This is the kind of guy I want as President in 2008!!!

CLICK HERE AND WATCH


(Broadband Users Only)... Unless you are real patient :-)

Up Again.... and TV Still Sucks

120 Channels of Nocturnal Misery

I have been a little on the nocturnal side here lately. For 3 months I was a normal lad. In bed by Letterman time. Up at dawn, with 2 cups of coffee and my morning trip to the restroom to read before beginning my day. But it seem I have drifted back to my familiar nighttime comfort zone. Being married with children and living in an apartment makes this difficult. I can't work on audio production as it disturbs my wife. So i sit and flip through 120 cable channels that I pay for and find myself asking, "What The Hell Happened to The World?"


My Program Guide Looks like this:

Paid Program

Paid Program

Paid Program

Paid Program

Paid Program

Paid Program

Paid Program

Paid Program



I feel screwed!! I pay all this money to watch other people ask me for more money!! So it goes like this. ...

1st a guy tells me I need a Temperpedic Mattress so I can sleep better at night. (Maybe that is my Solution)!! Then on to the next channel, where a fat hairy guy from 70's porn fame offers me a pill to make my member bigger. (Maybe he should be selling a hair removal device)
Then on the next channel they are telling me to buy a DVD set of college Girls Gone Wild. Now that's what I need!! Something to really remind me that I am getting old and make me feel like a perv! Then on the next channel they are arresting guys who have watched to many of the College Girl DVD's and have solicited underage girls over the web for sex. (But at least they aren't selling me anything!!)
As I continue I see muscle cut 20 something people telling me that the device that we use as a hat rack and clothes hanger (that I already bought) can make me look like them! I can't take that so I flip on!
Ooops NEWS CHANNEL!! War War War - all over the world, (I can't take that anymore)
-Click-
On the next channel they are all speaking Spanish. (Can't understand a damn thing)
Then I stumble upon a late night re-run of the reality show "Flavor Of Love". Now this is believable right? A bunch of curvy model type girls fight it out to win a life of love with a washed up rap clown who looks like a roach with gold teeth. But I amuse myself and watch for a few minutes. Out of the group one of them is a little on the chubby side. As the show nears the end she looses her bowels and shits on the floor by accident. (WHAT THE HELL?) Why did the fat girl shit and not the model type?
If intelligent life is receiving our TV signals in other galaxy's this is what they see? Us shitting ourselves!
I mean when I grew up Archie Bunker may have flushed the toilet. But it was synchronized into the stroryline as a punchline and it was funny!! Plus, Edith never shit on the stairs.

If it were not for PBS, History Channel and A&E I could loose my mind. But wait I can always count on TV Land for Gunsmoke and Bonanza when the going gets rough.

It's no wonder that half the people of this country need prescription medication that they can't afford. They sell it to us between infomrecials and during the news. We have ben told that terrorists are gonna blow us up with a can of shaving cream. Mexican illegals are here or on the way to steal our jobs and rape our children, (After the Priest and school teacher gets finished with them) All our office jobs are headed to India for outsourcing. Our home and land may be condemned any day so that Wal-Mart can build a new supercenter. And Gas Prices continue to go up, as do the profits of Exxon Mobil. North Korea may have a nuke! Iran may have a nuke! Al Quedia is living next door to me! I can't take a Pepsi on the plane anymore. And your 86 year old grandmother can't take her Pepto Bismol bottle in her carry on bag now because she might blow the plane up with it!!

Hell, who wouldn't be depressed or have high blood pressure after all that.

I hate to sound like Archie Bunker but this is how I see it. If you look like a terrorist we will search you. Profiling is the answer. If you are not a US Citizen, born and raised in this country you will be checked more closely. If you smell like curry and have a Koran in your carry on bag, we may check you out a little. But for God's sake stop making the 72 year old white lady from Kentucky get out of her wheel chair, unplug her oxygen tube and take her shoes off. Or the 48 year old black guy with his wife and 3 kids leaving Disney World empty their bags filled with stuffed animals before flying back to Atlanta. I promise you the 86 year old WW2 veteran wearing his VFW hat decorated with medals, is not gonna blow up anything.

Ok, I got a little off track with that rant!

TV Sucks!! It depresses us and scares us. Teaches us to lust after things that we may never have. And sells us stuff we will never need. Mostly that's what it does now days. There are still a few quality programs out there. "King of The Hill", "Lucky Louie" (New on HBO), "Frontline" (even though it scares us sometimes), And Ohhh Yes... "The Andy Griffith Show"
(when you really want to forget how troubled our world is for 30 minutes)

Maybe I will start reading more. Or listening to Coast to Coast AM. Or maybe I'll go back to being a so called normal human species and get a prescription pill to make me sleep, another to keep me happy and another to get me up and keep my wife happy within a 36 hour period. (should the opportunity arise) Back to 2 cups of coffee at 6am while I take the dog out in hopes she'll squat and do something instead of sniffing trees and poles. They say all men are dog's. But I have never sniffed a toilet seat. (random thought)

Or maybe buy an X Box 360 and start playing video games for 6 hours a day like a lot of other 30 something guys I know.

HELP!!

Man's Best Friend

I got my wife a Teacup Yorkie recently. It is cheaper to have a kid than buy these things!! But I got this one through a friend of a friend who wanted a better home for her doggie!! So we got her for a whopping $500.00. Not bad considering they go for $1500.00 and up at the local pet store. Her name is Mitsy. She is 2 years old (People Years) and is a bundle of joy. ALL 3 Ponds Of Her!! My wife snapped this pic as we took a Dog Days of summer nap.

Now if I can just get my wife to stop wiping the dogs ass with a baby wipe everytime she goes poop outside I will be happy. I understand that animals become family members, but Damn!! Mitsy will also not have anything to do with Dog Food since we got her. She gets her own plate when we eat. I even bought some high dollar gourmet dog food. NOPE!! She only eats people food. I guess I wouldn't eat dog food either if I knew some Pizza was coming later.

My Hippy Roots

I am sitting here listening to an old radio show that takes me to my childhood days. If you have Real Player CLICK HERE and listen. It is a full show from 1968 in San Francisco on KSAN. My Mom turned me on to this guy a few years ago and I recently found him again on the web. It brings back the memories of Long Haired Crazy friends of my Mom - The Scent of Patchouli Oil and Dirty Denim Jeans - The smell of burning cannabis mixed with cigarette smoke with a hint of frankincense to attempt to cover it all. I didn't get my 1st haircut till I was 5. My grandmother had a barber come to the house and cut it after the nurses at the doctors office called this toddler of a flower child "A Pretty Little Girl". Just a late night / Early Morning Flashback post!! I now have very short hair, look somewhat like a Marine...lol and am a Political independent who likes to watch Bill O'Reily - GO FIGURE!!



If you prefer to download the show above - (Right Click) and "Save Target As" on the following link. RIGHT CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD

That way you will have the entire show on your computer for future listening pleasure.

My 1st Posting

Since reading Crazy In Shreveport's blog -I decided to try this thing out. I am a married man - 36 yrs old with 3 girls. (2) adopted and (1) conceived in my younger dumber years. I have always been told to keep a journal but never did it. Maybe this will work for me, maybe not. We shall see if I dive into the technological blog form of journaling, or this site starts with a few posts and dies. I know I have a lot shit on my mind and maybe this will be a therapeutic way of sorting the shit. Who knows..... It is 5 am and I need to be asleep. My wife has already fussed at me 3 times to come to bed. So I will post my 1st post and see if I remember to keep this thing going or maybe it will be lost in the vast infinite world of other half assed blog attempts that were never kept up. Wish me Luck!!